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Wanted Children

Same-sex parents are a fact nowadays. Nonetheless, the legislation still doesn't make it easy for them to lead a normal family life wherever they want to, writes Marie-Pierre Micoud, president of Europe's largest association for lesbian and gay parents.

John and Alexander met each other in England. They adopted a little boy together because English law allows them to do so. Ed is ten years old now. Alexander wants to take up a job offer in France and all of a sudden the family balance is at stake. French law does not recognise joint paternity, which is already legal on the other side of the English Channel. So from a legal point of view Ed's family has no right to exist in France.

Photo: AP

By crossing the Franco-German border Sylvie and Katarina benefited from the homophile legislation on the other side of the Rhine. Together they have reared two children who were conceived by artificial insemination in Belgium using donated sperm. Sylvie had one child while Katarina had the other. Because Katarina has German citizenship they can both adopt each other's child if they settle in Germany. In this way their two children can now also be siblings before the law.

Friends and Sperm Donors

In Germany lesbian couples can choose a friend to be a sperm donor and create a child with his help without having to fear the consequences. Under German law the man can renounce his paternity and the partner in question can adopt the child. This kind of arrangement would be extremely risky from a legal point of view in a number of other European countries: the donor friend could decide to claim paternity at any time, and win it back - or the child or biological mother could force it on him against his will.

Two Fathers or Mothers

In France, Italy, Portugal and Ireland the legal recognition of same-sex parents has not been given the green light. These countries do not have a single law that protects the families of gays and lesbians - with the direct consequence that their children simply do not have the same rights as other children. At the other end of the scale there is no doubt that the most progressive legislation is to be found in the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, Spain, the UK and Finland. In these countries gays and lesbians are free to adopt children or conceive them through artificial insemination. Both partners are on an equal footing as parents. Their children have two fathers or two mothers in their lives and they also have two fathers or two mothers before the law.

Gradual liberalisation

Some countries in Eastern Europe are gradually paving the way for the recognition of homosexual couples by permitting the legal registration of partnerships. But in the majority of these countries a deep-seated aversion towards homosexuality remains prevalent. In Bulgaria or Poland, for example, coming out publicly is tantamount to social suicide. So even if same-sex parents are now a very concrete reality - in France it is estimated that between 30,000 and 100,000 children are being reared by parents at least one of whom is homosexual -, they have a long way to go before they gain a foothold in the social and political discourse.

Marie-Pierre Micoud

Marie-Pierre Micoud is 43 years old and lives in France. She and her partner have reared three boys who were conceived by artificial insemination in ...
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