Gibraltar is ours as long as citizens vote to be British and the Spanish ‘have no greater claim than they do on Portugal’ after Brexit
Britain should support Morocco's right to reclaim Ceuta, Melilla and Perejil - territories the Spaniards 'own' only a few hundred metres from the coast of Morocco, writes Rod Liddle
WITH a Brexit deal close to being agreed, what has happened? Someone has shoved a Spaniard in the works, that’s what.
That Third World basket case Spain is threatening to veto any deal we strike with the European Union.
They are getting angry about what will happen to Gibraltar.
They get themselves very worked up about Gibraltar, the Spaniards.
Forgetting entirely that they “own” three islands only a few hundred metres from the coast of Morocco — Ceuta, Melilla and Perejil.
Much to the fury of the Moroccans, who claim, with some justification, that the islands are theirs.
Gibraltar, meanwhile, is inhabited by British people who vote, every time, that they very much want to remain British.
The Spanish have no greater claim on Gibraltar than they do on Portugal.
But that’s not all. The behaviour of the Spanish is yet another reason why we should be glad to be rid of the EU.
Yet another gobby, bankrupt, mismanaged country trying to tell us what to do.
A country which keeps afloat only because of the money we pour into it.
Its debt is staggering — so huge, that if it was piled up in single dollar bills it would reach 97,018 miles high.
That’s more than a third of the way to the moon.
Unemployment? Si, senor. They certainly have that.
Youth unemployment currently stands at above 34 per cent — the kind of thing you might expect in sub-Saharan Africa (of which Spain is almost a part).
Approximately one in five Spaniards is out of work.
Not surprising, then, that almost nobody in Spain wants to be Spanish.
They all want to get the hell out. Most notably the Catalans, whose free and fair vote for independence was brutally crushed by the Spanish government and the EU.
Fascism is never far from the surface in Spain.
Don’t forget, it’s been a democracy for only 43 years, having been a fascist dictatorship before then.
The Galicians, up in the north west, want independence. The Basques want independence.
Down in the arid south the Andalusians quite fancy breaking free, too.
Everywhere you look in Spain there’s people telling you they’d rather be somewhere else altogether. Anywhere but Spain.
A country whose only redeemable quality is a warm climate for Germans and Brits to get p***ed in.
But this is the thing about the EU, and why we must remove ourselves pronto.
The UK being dictated to by Spain is a bit like El Salvador telling the US what it can and can’t do.
And yet for all the while we are in the EU, this is what will happen.
No wonder more and more sensible countries are beginning to consider their options.
Sir Francis Drake took the right approach to Spain.
Finish a leisurely game of bowls then go and defeat their entire armada in about half an hour. (They’re still cross about that, too.)
We should tell the Spanish that the status of Gibraltar will never be negotiable so long as a majority of its citizens wish to remain British.
Tell their smug boss Pedro Sanchez that he can veto as much as he likes, but that will never change.
And at the same time, support Morocco’s right to reclaim Ceuta, Melilla and Perejil from these tapas-munching, bone idle hypocrites.
Drama Queen Prince
PRINCE WILLIAM has been talking about when he was “very sad and very down” again.
This time while working for the Air Ambulance.
One incident, he said, pushed him over the edge.
Wills was speaking at a forum on mental health, which seems to be his hobby.
He seems a nice bloke, Wills. But he does rather make a melodrama of his mood swings.
Feeling a bit down isn’t depression, which is a cruel illness from which millions suffer.
Just occasionally a bit of stiff upper lip wouldn’t go amiss, mate.
We’ve got Meghan to do enough emoting for the entire Royal Family.
A Bible lesson
JUSTIN’s opened his gob again.
Yes, I mean our Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby.
He’s been opining on the gender of God.
Not exactly a he, said Justin, not in an earthly sense. Not really a lady either. So . . . um . . . what are you saying, mate? God’s transitioning?
How lucky we are to have as head of our church a chap who knows so much better than the Holy Bible, which refers to God as a man throughout.
Capricious Dele Alli
OK Dele Alli, you can have your penthouse suite.
And just for the moment we won’t get arsey about you playing the “big I am” at the hotel reception desk.
Get through to the final of the Nations League tournament and we’ll even let you raid the mini-bar without quibbling.
But lose and everyone will be on your back, mate.
It’s the way of the world.
Case of Elton ad nausea
PRIZE for crassest Christmas advert so far goes to Marks & Spencer in Nottingham.
Two displays. One for men, advertising: “Must-have outfits to impress.”
The other for women: “Must-have fancy little knickers.”
Did they do it just to wind up the women?
The shop dummies are wearing bright-red frilly knickers.
Which, as my wife said to me (rather acidly) were the one Christmas present no woman has ever wanted.
Meanwhile, a more traditional offering from John Lewis.
This year the store’s telly ad urges us to celebrate the miracle of Elton John.
It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside – someone bring me a bucket.
In the hands of the Kray twins
THEY were genuinely thinking of making one of Vladimir Putin’s cronies the head of international crime agency Interpol.
That would have been like putting the Metropolitan Police in the hands of the Kray twins.
But thanks to a rebellion by the UK, among others, the post has now gone to some South Korean geezer.
I’m slightly surprised they didn’t go for a North Korean instead.
The last boss, by the way, was arrested for bribery in China.
Mind how you go then.
Shelby's hot shot
NOW is the time of year when celebrities start publicising their calendars for the following year.
I have tried to get in on the act. Let me tantalise you.
March depicts me lying naked in bed save for a pair of ripped Speedos, with a come-hither expression on my face, eating a Greggs steak bake.
October is me watching Match OfThe Day in a leather basque.
I thought maybe we could run a couple of promotional shots on this page.
But the picture desk said a fairly emphatic: “No”.
We couldn’t even get a shot from Shelby Tribble’s calendar, whoever she is. Here’s a picture of her anyway.
MOST READ IN OPINION
The Beeb in need of balance
GOOD stuff from the former Cabinet minister Peter Lilley in yesterday’s Sun. He tore the BBC to shreds for its grotesque bias about Brexit.
He was especially right to have a go at the corporation’s ludicrous “fact-checker”, Chris Morris.
They wheel out this bloke every time they want support for their own liberal opinions.
The idea that he is objective is absurd. It’s not a fact-checker you want, BBC. It’s a little bit of balance.