Cancel culture is broken – it makes us scared and lonely, says KATY MORAN
THERE is a stigma around admissions of loneliness. Admitting being lonely and unconnected can make you feel vulnerable, so much so that staying silent and staying lonely seems like the easier path.
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I am a personal trainer and coach and understanding my clients' support network is vital for me to do my job, but I am also human and I have experienced loneliness. Humans need connection, not having it hurts us and can lead us to use tools of numbing and comfort, such as alcohol and food, in order to soothe our pain. According to The Campaign To End Loneliness “lonely people are more likely to suffer from dementia, heart disease and depression. It is worse for you than obesity and likely to increase your risk of death by 29 percent”.
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While we are comfortable talking about the effects of loneliness, we shy away from owning our own lonely experiences, which most of us have had.
I think part of the problem goes back to the playground dynamic, where popularity is synonymous with a crowd and to be solo means to be a loner.
The fear and weight of those labels, that felt so big to wear when we were children, still have an impact on some of us today.
Technologically we are more connected than ever, but I worry that authentic human connection is becoming harder to cultivate and find.
Loneliness isn’t always a lack of company, but it is always a lack of connection and while many blame social media for the great disconnect, the real culprit is the cancel culture which infects the online world.
Cancel culture has roots in goodness; to stop the spread of hate.
But it’s not just the hateful that are affected by this culture.
The unsure, the inquisitive, those that are keen to grow, learn and connect are also stifled.
By attempting to stop the spread of hate through cancellation we are also killing human beings' ability to communicate, learn, and grow openly without fear of saying something wrong.
Without these freedoms, authentic connection will continue to dwindle and our ability to grow as humans along with it.
Lockdown has forced social circles to become smaller and while no doubt there are more of us feeling lonely than ever before, it has also presented an opportunity to remember the values of community, the power that comes from connecting in support of a just cause and that despite politics or divisions, we are all human and susceptible to human ailments; like Covid, like loneliness.
We must learn a lesson from this experience and do everything we can to prevent the stifling of connection.
Without it loneliness will become more prevalent than it already is and we may never know, because we are all too scared to admit "I am lonely".
